But I still wanted to gym. The only problem was that I was not quite happy with spending R800 per month for my wife and myself to go to the gym. And that is when I did what I always advise on The Blue Roof – I put the grey matter to work.

I want more life cover for both my wife and myself.  A few companies offer a loyalty program that includes subsidised gym membership. So I promptly contact a few companies that I know and ask: 1.What is the minimum premium on a life policy? 2.What does the loyalty program cost? 3.What gym benefits does it offer? The bottom line is that I got the best benefits from Momentum.

Life cover for 2 at R300 per month, loyalty program (that offers many other benefits, such as cheaper airline tickets) at R140 and gym for 2 at R98. Which means I am spending R540 odd Rand per month (instead of R800), I get to gym, I have life cover (my wife will only be able to buy a cheap new husband when I die, but I can buy a very expensive wife when she dies ) and I have many other potential savings. (And the nice part is that there is an amazing motivation to go to the gym built into the system!)

Why do I share this? Yes, to let you know I do have a six pack, albeit invisible under the wrapping ? No, I share this to encourage you to investigate how you can “re-arrange” expenses to pay less or perhaps at least get better value for money.

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are in a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (The kid gets an A+ for this answer!)

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does ‘varicose’ mean? (I do love this one…)

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarian Section.’

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word ‘benign’ mean?’

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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